A New Year...

Does a new year mean a new beginning??? I have been pondering that a lot lately.

So I know I haven't been posting an I am still pretty new to this but so much had happened. We went to Ireland and England and when we got back I was non stop busy. Also, my life just seems crazy! So I hope to be back and post more often. I think this is really what I need but since I am in front of a computer all day at work, the last thing I want to do it sit in front of one at night. So I am working on it and we shall see. So far this year it's been crazy!

The holidays got the best of me. I gained weight and I was pretty out of control. I wasn't going to the gym often but I was still working out most mornings at home. Then we made a decision that we were going to try and start a family so back in November I went off the pill. OMG! December was an interesting month by far with emotions! So Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years was great overall but I just have been feeling pretty blah.

I have a really great friend, well I thought anyways but I am coming to realize that she is only there when SHE NEEDS ME! If I need her she is nowheres. It's hitting me hard today to realize that our so called great friendship is so onesided and I can't take it. When I hear from her I end up upset and frustrated and it's not because I am mad at her, it's because I am worried for her. However, I then never hear from her again until another bad thing happens. However, when it's the other way around she never picks up the phone for me or responds to text or emails. So I am re-evaluating things there and it's killing me inside.

This year I want to be healthy and positive. I want to start budgeting my money better, I want to loose weight and I want to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. I want to only have positive friends and friends that will be there for me when I need it as well. I want to blog more often and I hope to make connections that will help me on this journey throughout.

I read many blogs and I just love the inspiration the give me and I hope to keep doing that. So this week I am back to tracking calories, and headed back to the gym tonight. Here's to a new year and a new beginning! A better beginning!

Thanks for reading and sorry this is a little all over the place, I have a lot going through my head right now and I am trying to get it sorted out.

XOXO

Slow going

Things are going for me ok right now. This past weekend wasn't too bad. I didn't do much and I think that helped but also just put me in a funk. I am down a bit on the scale this week and I am hoping to get down some more next week and then I might be able to breathe and feel like I am out of the woods and finally going to see some new numbers on the scale.

This week so far has been slow and crazy! Work is driving me insane, I am tired of drama and stuff and I just wish it would stop. Oh well...I suppose it's everywheres. It was a very long Monday. My eating however was awesome! So that is great to report plus I did the gym in the evening and workout in the morning. I did a workout this morning and plan on going to the gym right after work again. However my eating hasn't been great. Ok the eating has been fine but I had a dentist appt. this morning and I was there a lot longer than expected so I ran to McD's to pick up lunch before I headed back to work and I grabbed a southwest salad w/ grilled chicken (didn't use all the dressing either) but I decided to try the new frappes they have. Urrr...the calories I found out where 550 when I got to a computer to enter it. YIKES! So that has pretty much thrown off my eating for the day. It's made me use a lot of calories....I should have known and i probably did. So dinner I am suppose to be making Oyakadon (spelling??) It's a japanese dish with chicken, egg, onion and rice. So overall it's not a unhealthy dish as long as I don't go nuts with the rice. =) I can do that I think.

I am going out Friday to see some friends that live in M.A.! It's been since last summer/fall I have seen them. i can't wait. I miss hanging out with them. We use to work together and we got along great and did things all the time but my husband and I were building a home and it was in the other direction so I needed to find a new job. They are only about 50 minutes away but it feels like a long way when trying to make plans after work and such. So Friday we are going out for dinner and drinks. WOOHOO!! So my plan is to be super good all week so I can enjoy a few drinks. Umm....so far I consider today a bust! =( I am just afraid I am going to say screw it and ruin my entire week. I keep telling myself I am doing ok. I just need to stay focused and aware of what I am doing. I can't give in.

I am going to England and Ireland and I would like to be smaller for this trip. I have had plenty of time and I have been at this weight since late last summer or early winter....I haven't dropped and it's time to drop it. I don't want to stay here and therefore it's time to stay focused and keep doing what I do. Right? RIGHT!!!

So I wanted to write today to get what is going in my head out there. It is a good way for me to release my thoughts. I don't know if my ramblings make sense but hopefully I will get better. I just have so many thoughts going at once that I tend to jump back and forth and all over the place. AAHH!!!

So I am happy that the sun is shining today, I have no cavities and it's been quiet at work. Those are good things today. Oh and I have about 10 minutes left. =) So here's to a good rest of the week. I can do this, I can be strong!!!

Trying to get in the groove of things...

I want to do a blog because I think it will help me stay accountable and keep me focused and on the right track. However it seems that I don't have time to do this. I start it and then don't continue. I read other blogs all the time and they inspire me and give me motivation and great ideas on how to reach my goals so I want to help others as well.

I have been having a problem staying focused with my weight loss. I am not gaining but I am not loosing. I have been working out more than ever but I am still not budging on the scale. The hubby says it's because I am gaining muscle, which is great but come on I used to just do 30 minutes on the elliptical 5 - 6 times a week and now I do that plus I go to the gym and do another 40-60 minutes on an elliptical and then I do strength training for another 20 minutes. I use a HRM and I average around 4000 calories burned a week so what gives??? I think my weekends are doing me in. I don't go crazy but we eat out and have a few drinks here and there and a few treats. I think the calories are a lot worse than I think. I need to get things back on track and I need to stop letting myself have all these little treats. I am obviously giving myself too many!

So I would love to loose another 20 lbs before September because that is when we are going on our trip to England and Ireland and I would love to have 55 lbs total gone. I would feel like I am accomplishing something again. That gives me a little over two months and it should be doable right? I sure hope so.

I hope to return here soon and make this a regular thing. Heres to the start of a blog that will keep me accountable and on track. I can do this!