It's already the end of January

Time is flying by so fast...I don't know where it's going.  The one thing I do know if the weight is not dropping.  I have been sick all week and I made it to the gym Monday and Tuesday and worked out at home both mornings before realizing that this wasn't a good idea.  So I have been resting for the rest of the week and just trying to get better.  I can't taste food which has been leading to a lot of picking at things.  I have been trying to eat healthy just to get the nutrients in my system but when I am sick I crave bad stuff.  So on top of the healthy is also the bad.  I have been considering going to see a nutritionist to see if they get help get me on the right path.

Last year I lost around 5-6lbs total.  That's not much for a year especially when I joined a gym in May and have been going regularly since.  I use a HRM everytime I work out and my total calories burned at the end of a week runs around 3000 calories so wouldn't you expect to see a drop?  I know I do indulge but I didn't think my indulging was that bad.  I might go out for drinks a few times a month and I might have a few bad desserts a month but overall I am a healthy eater.  I am learning that even though I am eating healthier foods, it isn't going to help me if I can't reduce my quantity.  So, I have been working on reducing my quantity and my other problem is I go all day on schedule with food and exercise.  I eat great and track calories but then at night I start getting intense cravings for food and not healthy ones.  I will have a snack but then I want more.  It's like I just can't seem to get full at night.  Does anyone else have this problem?  I tell myself no but I end up grabbing something anyways.  I drink tea, snack on fruit but it doesn't always work.  I have been trying to make my go to snack popcorn with nothing on it except some seasoning that I add or maybe some EVOO but not a lot.

So here I am again saying the same things.  I loose a few pounds but by the next week it's back.  Right now I just want to get better and get back on track.  Today I am determined to stay good and not go overboard as with this weekend.  They seem to be my downfall.  It's such a battle but I don't want to be 275lbs anymore!!!  I wasted a whole year and it's time to get this weight shifted and downwards.  No more excuses... NO MORE!!!  It's time to move on and get it going.  It's time to find the strength I need to say no to myself at night.  I have no choice if I  want to loose weight.  I don't blame it on others.  It's my own self. 

Yes, I lost inches last year and I have gone down in clothes size but the fact is I am at 275 and I should be able to loose this weight with all the working out I do.  I average 5-6 hours a week of official exercise.  I don't eat fried, fatty foods.  We might eat out once a week but I always try to have the best option and I don't eat it all.  So I feel if I can get my nighttime snacking down I will get somewheres.  I want to get out of the 70's and into the 60's I feel like if I can get over this hump it will get me some motivation and spirit again and I will feel like it is possible.

Thanks for listening to my rambles.  I am trying to get all my thoughts out there to find the source.  I hope you are all having lots of success and I wish you the best.  If you have any advice I am more than willing to take it. 

Have a great day!  Happy Friday!

So Far...

This week has been good overall health wise.  I had an awesome workout at the gym Tuesday night.  My HRM said I burnt 780 calories.  I got lost in my thoughts when I was on the elliptical and I think I took my frustrations out on it as well.  I did that for 45 minutes and then did some weights for 15 minutes.  Tonight I hope to have the same results at the gym.  I have also gotten up every morning this week at 5:00 a.m.  Yup that's right and worked out for 30 minutes before work.  I have been trying to incorporate more weight lifting and use of resistance bands to try to to work on my core a bit so some mornings I do 20-25 minutes on the elliptical and then I will spend at least another 10 minutes doing some form of strength training.  Anyone got any good ideas about trying to dwindle the middle?  My upper body has gotten smaller and so has my legs but my waist??  Not so much.  It's just stuck.  I know you can't do my to control where the fat leaves and sooner or later it will leave the waist area too but I am ready already.  Haha.  Tomorrow is a complete rest day and then back to the gym Saturday morning for a good workout with the hubby.

So food wise this week it hasn't been horrible.  I have been tracking my calories on Sparkpeople again.  Man it's so hard to keep tracking and being diligent about it.  I at least have an iPhone and I have an app for that.  Haha.  I love saying that.  So I have been good all week and in range except yesterday.  I did good til I got to my parents house for dinner.  What is it about a parents home that makes you throw it all out the window?  Well there sat the candy dish so I had a few bite size pieces of chocolate and then dinner was home made beef stew with buttermilk biscuits.  That was the death of me.  So I ended up having 3 biscuits with the hearty bowl of stew at my parents and I of course brought some home for the hubby where I had another biscuit.  EEKK!!  I am starting to realize that carbs/white flour is a trigger for me.  I almost always eat multigrian, wheat, pumpernickel bread and when I happen to eat white bread, pasta I start to overindulge and then I get this hunger sensation that won't go away.  I ended up eating a bowl of cherries last night and then some peanuts.  I probably at about 1/2 a cup or a little more of peanuts.  i know they aren't the worst choice but we all know how high in calories peanuts are.  So not to jinx myself but I am planning on having no more slips or screw ups this week.  I already have entered my foods for the day and I am at 1350 calories so I still have room for a little extra if I need it.  I have all my meals in and the 2 planned snacks so I am feeling good. 

Heres to a great day and a great tomorrow!  Oh let's not forget the hardest part of the week....THE WEEKEND!  Boy I love them but that seems to be the hardest time for me and when all common sense and good intentions fly out the window. I am hoping to have the power and strength this weekend to get through it.  Who's with me now?

Hope you are all having a great week. 

A New Year...

Does a new year mean a new beginning??? I have been pondering that a lot lately.

So I know I haven't been posting an I am still pretty new to this but so much had happened. We went to Ireland and England and when we got back I was non stop busy. Also, my life just seems crazy! So I hope to be back and post more often. I think this is really what I need but since I am in front of a computer all day at work, the last thing I want to do it sit in front of one at night. So I am working on it and we shall see. So far this year it's been crazy!

The holidays got the best of me. I gained weight and I was pretty out of control. I wasn't going to the gym often but I was still working out most mornings at home. Then we made a decision that we were going to try and start a family so back in November I went off the pill. OMG! December was an interesting month by far with emotions! So Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years was great overall but I just have been feeling pretty blah.

I have a really great friend, well I thought anyways but I am coming to realize that she is only there when SHE NEEDS ME! If I need her she is nowheres. It's hitting me hard today to realize that our so called great friendship is so onesided and I can't take it. When I hear from her I end up upset and frustrated and it's not because I am mad at her, it's because I am worried for her. However, I then never hear from her again until another bad thing happens. However, when it's the other way around she never picks up the phone for me or responds to text or emails. So I am re-evaluating things there and it's killing me inside.

This year I want to be healthy and positive. I want to start budgeting my money better, I want to loose weight and I want to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. I want to only have positive friends and friends that will be there for me when I need it as well. I want to blog more often and I hope to make connections that will help me on this journey throughout.

I read many blogs and I just love the inspiration the give me and I hope to keep doing that. So this week I am back to tracking calories, and headed back to the gym tonight. Here's to a new year and a new beginning! A better beginning!

Thanks for reading and sorry this is a little all over the place, I have a lot going through my head right now and I am trying to get it sorted out.

XOXO